Joy, Joy, Joy

I have so much in my life for which to be joyful: I have an incredible family that supports me, I have amazing friends that thankfully both encourage and challenge me, I live in community with a group of believers with whom I try to walk out the gospel, and I get to spend my time doing things that truly bring me joy. Although I have so many perfectly good reasons to be joyful, I have been forced lately to inspect very carefully from where my joy actually comes. As the end of this season in Costa Rica is ending it has been very challenging, mentally, to prepare myself for the transition to come; to say that directly moving from Alajuelita to a college campus will be a radical culture shock is a gross understatement. I will be losing the security I have come to find in the community of 6:8, my Costa Rican friends, my church family of Celebración, and in the things I do here in Alajuelita. The fact that all of these things bring me so much happiness and joy is not an inherently bad thing. I get to see GOD work in miraculous ways through all of those things, blessing others and blessing me in the process. However, it is if my true source of joy lies in my circumstances and not in Christ that there is a problem. And I am not entirely sure that is the case.

While I was home I was having a bible study with my friends Mike and Anton on the final instructions Paul gives to the Thessalonians. Paul urges with simple and direct commands: “Rejoice always (other versions say ‘Be joyful always”), pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:16-18). Be joyful always. WOW! More than being difficult, that seems more like impossible to me. I have already experienced times here that have been less than joyful. Circumstances here are often incredibly difficult and there are periods of time when it appears to be one thing after another bringing me down until finally the cloud is lifted. During those times, which last as long as the difficult situations do, my life is far from completely devoid of joy. But when someone I love falls back into drugs, or is suffering, or there is so much pain out of my control, I struggle to be joyful and find joy in those situations. From where does my joy come? I want to be so full of joy from the Holy Spirit that all of the circumstances, the situations, the people, the events that bring me happiness in my life only serve to increase the already overflowing joy. I want a constant joy to spring from waking up once again in the morning to the sun shining in my window, from acknowledging that I am a precious daughter of the Creator of the universe, from accepting the fact that despite my sin and my brokenness I have received salvation through Jesus Christ, and from focusing on the very character of our good, faithful, loving, just, and perfect GOD. If I truly rejoice always because of those things it does not matter where I am, what I am doing, or who I am with. Those things change, but the basis of my joy will not!

I want to be careful about how this is presented. I do not mean to say that we should become so disconnected from the world that we cannot identify with the sufferings of others and “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15) as the Bible instructs us. Nor do I think it is wrong to question and struggle with GOD when difficulties come in our own lives or in the lives of others. I can be heartbroken because a dear friend is struggling with addiction and I can be crying out to GOD to be merciful and perform a miracle in his/her life while still rejoicing in the truths that will never change. I can be questioning a trial that I am going through and still find joy in the fact that GOD has already won the battle although I cannot see that far ahead. Even when everything is changing and going crazy around me I want to strive to look to GOD for my joy. In Him, and only in Him will I find that joy that never fails.

Amando Perfectamente

First of all I would like to apologize for the unwarranted blog hiatus; I don’t have any real excuse nor will I try to invent a convincing one. My apologies! To give a quick update of February highlights: we began the month with a backpack and school supply give-away at Celebración for all of the kids in the 6:8 Child Sponsorship Program, shortly after, Anton, the Hicks, and I made a 90 day renew your passport run to San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. Celebración opened a feeding center specifically for women and children, we have hosted two teams in the new team house in Escazú and even had, at one point, three teams overlapping between the two sites. We have celebrated birthdays with friends, made new relationships, witnessed GOD’s provision as he orchestrated the means to build two families new homes, and simply experienced the joys and tragedies of living life in community with others.

Had I chosen to write a blog two weeks ago, or even two days ago, I would most likely be writing about something very different. I feel as though I am in a constant process of growth and the things that weigh on my heart are likewise continually changing. With that said, it makes it very difficult to choose what to share when I have received so many important lessons within the past month that individually impacted me a great deal. However, I would like to share what is on my heart at this moment in time, not because this particular impression is more deserving, but simply because it will be more honest and real.

The whole month of February we have focused on the topic of love. Although it began as a slightly comical cliché to do a study of love and friendship in order to celebrate the month of Valentine’s Day, I have learned so much more about the most powerful force in the universe than ever before. More than anything I think I have more of an appreciation for the unconditional love GOD has for me because of the difficulties I have encountered in loving others recently. “GOD is love” (1 John 4:8), and he knows how to love us perfectly without flaw, but we are in turn called to love others so that “GOD abides in us and his love is perfected in us” (4:12). We were specifically made with the purpose to love sacrificially and unselfishly so that GOD, who created love and is love, could dwell within us and perfect love in our loving of others. Confusing, right? But what a responsibility we have been given! We are a crucial component in the perfection of the most powerful force that impassions our universe because GOD planned it that way.

Once you get past that and begin actually trying to love others “well” is where things get really complicated, messy, and at times just ridiculously frustrating. Because it is not easy. The most difficult part is desiring to love “well” and not knowing how. The only thing that I can say is that unconditional love, love that does not expect anything, nor ask for anything in return, does not come with a manual nor does it plug neatly into a mathematical formula. But if we are loving unconditionally, GOD abides in us and will be with us in every situation, guiding us in our actions. How do you love someone well who doesn’t want your help? How do you love someone well who is constantly using you? How do you love someone well who lies to you, or betrays you, or breaks your trust? The answer is that I can’t. My flesh cannot. My flesh wants to give up and run away and protect myself from getting hurt. And I would dare to say that your flesh instinctively acts in a similar fashion. But thank goodness we have a force living inside of us that is not of the flesh; and everything that the flesh is, (envious, boastful, rude, irritable, resentful, unforgiving, selfish) love is not. Even if my heart is in the right place I want my actions to be also. My love for them remains, and it is because I love them that I long to treat them in a way that demonstrates GOD’s love. I say all of this, or better yet, I ramble on, because I am struggling with this and I need to be encouraged by the truth of John’s words. May GOD bless you all in wonderful and surprising ways each and every day,

Becca

Break my heart for what breaks yours...

I recently read the book Friendship at the Margins by Christopher L Heurtz and Christine D Pohl and am in the process of reading The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns, both of which I highly recommend. Something mentioned in both is humans’ ability to be inhumane to our suffering neighbors. Some of this is made possible by separating ourselves from them and attempting to forget the hard, but evident, truths of the injustice. In other cases it is because, as Richard Stearns puts it, “we have become detached and indifferent toward the constant and repeated images of poverty and adversity that bombard us.” Another passage found in Friendship at the Margins really hit home for me:

The danger for those who work in the hardest places is that they might become calloused. After a while, the unthinkable becomes familiar and our souls whither. We become cynical and hard; the wounds that we have witnessed are borne become too much, and we allow them to become covered with tough, dead skin.

It is way too easy for me to identify with that and my recent cry is just that GOD would break me: to strip away the hardened parts of my heart that prevent me from feeling and acting with deep, sincere compassion.

A one situation in the past couple of weeks really took an impersonal statistic and a sad reality and made it painfully real and personal. The walk through the hotel El Rey in downtown San Jose had a huge impact on me. El Rey, while technically a hotel, is the center of a vicious drug and prostitution ring. Pimps run the show behind the scenes; in exchange for crack the women surrender large portions of their income, which supports the pimps’ large drug trafficking business. We walked through the first floor of the hotel, which consists of a “lobby”, a bar, and a casino, and seemed very similar to what I would imagine Vegas to look like. However, here, even at 3 in the afternoon, the place was full of scantily clad women presumably ready to work for the night. From the moment we stepped inside there was a tangible sense of evil that permeated the entire place. As we walked through the smoky, dimly lit space I couldn’t help but look around at the women working there, their faces especially, and the men with whom they were talking. Their faces are seared into my mind and the oppression I felt in that place is one I cannot shake. I think about the recovering addicts and the ex-prostitutes from the women’s center that have become my friends and I am filled with an overwhelming sadness, almost a feeling of disbelief that such injustice as this really takes place. For me it was one of those things that you hear about in the form of statistics or read about in an article; it is dubbed a “social injustice,” but it became SO frighteningly real to me that day. Not only does it really take place, not only are there thousands, millions, whatever the latest statistics read, that are trapped in a world in which they sell their very selves for money, but I know women who have personally been affected by it. They aren’t just numbers or words on a page but people, with faces and stories.

That is just what has been on my heart most recently. GOD has been answering my prayers and breaking my heart for the people and their situations here. My prayer is that GOD breaks your heart for someone around you this week too; it is a humbling experience. GOD BLESS

Old and New

I have now been back in Costa for a full week. And a full week it has been! I came back with my sister and another family from Jacksonville and got to spend the week with them serving food in Tiribi, praying for people in the community, and holding a day-long medical clinic in the church, among other things. Being home for 5 weeks allowed me to spend lots of time with my awesome family and friends and to enjoy RCC for which I am so thankful. But I am so happy to be back here with 6:8.

If I were to dub this week with a subtitle it would read: Week of Old and New. It was such a cool week not only because I got to share it with my sister, but also because I got to reconnect with dear friends who I haven’t seen for over a month AND experience a lot of new things. One “new” thing is the arrival of my new roommate Amy Jo. What a trooper she has been! On her very first day here she spent most of her first trip to Hipermás (Costa Rican Wal-Mart equivalent) and the rest of that night being violently ill. Thankfully she is feeling much better now and was able to come out for the later part of the day with us yesterday. Shortly after we arrived here a group of 63 post college aged “World Racers” took over (in a good way) the team house and the church to spend their last few days in Costa Rica before heading to the Philippines on New Year’s Eve. The World Race is a super neat program and I had so many cool conversations with some of the girls in the program. I also got to see Mac Mitchell, an old friend from RCC, who is also a part of their team. The fact that Mac just happened to be working with 6:8 during his Race in and of itself is a crazy GOD-thing. (If you are interested in learning more about the World Race, visit their website www.theworldrace.com )

Another “new” is the grand opening of the second team house in Escazu. With the addition of the new site we are actively seeking out new opportunities and new neighborhoods both around the “casa azul” as the main site is called, and the new Escazu team house. All day yesterday different combinations of the 6:8 staff went out into new neighborhoods to meet people and begin forming new relationships. In the morning we went into a barrio known as “large bowl of the frogs” for reasons I still do not understand, played with kids, talked to people, and explored a little down by the river. The neighborhood was incredibly receptive and welcoming. Hopefully some of them who were interested in learning English will come to class tonight as well. In the afternoon we took a bus to Aurora and visited another river community new to all of us. As we were walking down I saw my good friend Reina, a woman who always comes to the feeding center, with her little niece. I was so excited to see her looking so happy and good after a wonderful Christmas and New Year’s with her family and without drugs or alcohol. Praise the LORD!! We continued down and met some amazingly friendly families with incredible needs. One couple, Rebeca and Alex, who have 4 adorable children and live in a falling over house the size of a large closet, had heard about 6:8 before from a friend who lives down by the river in Tribi. About half way through our visit the father, Alex, came back from the store with a small bag of groceries which included a pack of lollipops for the kids. Rebeca immediately opened the package and her children gave each one of us a lollipop. Their generosity in the midst of having virtually nothing touched me in a way I cannot fully describe. I encourage you all to pray about possibly getting a team and the funds to be able to build Rebeca and Alex a house. A street over from that area we spent the rest of the day playing with the most precious children who loved on us more than I think we loved on them. A wonderful day in GOD’s amazing kingdom! Thank you for all of your continued prayers. GOD BLESS!

Home, Sweet Home

First week back has been filled with the whole spectrum of emotions. It is a bizarre feeling to be torn between two places incredibly close to my heart. In Jax I have my family, my friends, and my RCC Church family; in Costa I have what has come to be my family, new friends, and the Celebración Church family. One of the hardest things about being back is realizing that while I have changed dramatically in the five months I have been away and I feel completely different, I don’t stand out. Nothing in my outward appearance separates me from the thousands of other light skinned, light haired, and light eyed Americans around me. I am so accustomed to being externally different from everyone else that it is strange for me to walk into the grocery store and blend in with everyone else. Even though I feel different, and act a little strange because I marvel at how small the coins here are, no one is going to assume that I am any different just by looking at me. Yet, even though I look the same as everyone else here I feel so different. I wish that I had more descriptive words to explain this weird state of “not belonging.”

I have also really been struggling with the drastic change in my day to day life. The average day in Costa, not that there is ever really an ‘average’ day there, is an adventure filled with tangible GOD moments. Unfortunately what I have been doing is expecting (a dangerous word, I know) for GOD to show up in the day to day in the same kinds of ways that he does in Alajuelita. I have been walking a lot since I have gotten home through neighborhoods trying to find people to start conversations like we would do in the barrios in Costa Rica and no one is outside. I can walk the mile to my school and back and pass one headphoned runner and a biker, maybe. I have just been aching to feel used by GOD here. Through a long conversation I had with my Dad GOD really revealed to me the self centered aspects of my frustration. First of all, who am I to say that GOD isn’t using me within my own family and friends? Just because it doesn’t feel like Costa Rica does not mean that GOD is not moving in my own life here in Jacksonville. It became blatantly obvious that what seemed like my righteous frustration with GOD’s absence was really my inability to get past my rigid expectations of what I wanted to see GOD do through me while I am here.

However, GOD is so good. Right after coming to terms with all of this my Dad and I went to lunch where we learned that a friend of ours was in the hospital with a bone infection. Ultimately we were able to visit with him in the hospital and pray with him at the end. I cannot explain what an incredible experience it was for me in so many ways. First of all I think it may have been the first experience like that in the States where I have spontaneously arrived unannounced to a place with the intention of getting past the awkwardness and asking to pray with someone. Secondly, it was so incredible because I got to see my Dad do just that; and we got to do it together. Way cooler than I could have ever imagined it in my mind.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4): a widely used and even more widely abused verse. However, I truly think it applies so perfectly to this situation. My desire was for GOD to use me; I wanted nothing more than to do crazy, radical things for GOD and was impatient to do just that. But I was also putting GOD in a box by telling Him just what I wanted those crazy, radical things to look like and when I wanted to see them. When I finally began to surrender my own preconceptions and just take delight in the fact that He is using me in ways that I cannot even see (which is really so cool to think about), His desires lined up with mine and an incredible opportunity presented itself. I encourage anyone who is praying for opportunities and situations to be Christ to continue to do just that with an attitude of surrender. We cannot begin to fathom the situations that GOD has planned to put in our paths and attempting to dream them up in our own minds just creates a mess. That doesn’t mean we should be inactive and just wait for something to happen. Opportunities present themselves all of the time and we just dismiss them; action is required as well.

Thank you all for your continued support while I am serving GOD State-side in Jacksonville, FL. I will be back in Costa two days after Christmas with my sister who will spend a week there. I am so excited about everything that is still going on with 6:8 and cannot wait to be back. Check out the blogs of anyone on staff by clicking on this link http://gammagefamily.blogspot.com under “People we love” to find out more about the amazing things GOD is doing in Alajuelita. GOD BLESS

Becca